After that, went over to csc to pass Alf his set of human anatomy as well. actually alf wanted to give me a treat at delifrance buffet in the morning, but i turned him down saying i got something on. when i found him seated outside guardian, his bag was on his lap, head bowed over it and hand covering his ears. with his short cropped hair, he sort of looks like a fugitive. i just called his name, pass him the toys and went off. he looks like he got something to say but i dont think i want to stop to listen. still feeling displeased about the way we parted. he just say want to severe all ties and thats about it. well, as for that, i'm saying what i was feeling in the blog. even if i have to do it again, i will. another thing will be that alf refused to reveal the identity of the person whom showed him my blog. i know who is it, but as long as alf refused to reveal it, it means he treasures that person more than me. hmmmm... what was the saying? 1 bad friend is worse than 10 enemies.
Went home after that. actually bought nasi lemak for lunch, but after taking the meat from pa ma's leftover lunch. it was very filling. played some pet society and perfect world before taking a nap.
woke up at night to go to a BBQ that my mom's 4th brother arranged. lots of food. lots of ppl. 50+ of us...
the funny part was when my cousin wei chuan, my mom's eldest brother's son, held his daughter in a head lock and going ard acknowledging all the relatives. all the gong and the ma. hahaha
pa ma sort of realised that i'm a christian now, and they are not too happy over it. well. i might be a christian, but i'm also a taoist and buddhist. just need more time for them to get used to it. actually i dont believe in being bounded to religion, i believe in heart. as long as you feel right, do ahead. will hurting ppl feel rite? no. is stealing right? no. these are the things that leave you with a bad taste in the mouth. feeling nasty and evil. i dont know how to say, but i have a strong sense of empathy. i feel bad when ppl are. somehow going to the rock feels right. i dont believe in breaking roots, so i'm still going on with my taoism and buddhism studies as well as praying to ancestors.
hmmm... yesterday had a small talk with irin. the content was quite interesting and i believe alot of ppl had faced it in their relationship before. when irin ask if i'm planning anything for V-day, i say nothing. she say good also, since both of us are financially tight. she mentioned that maybe such days are not as important to me as to her. then when i mentioned that i might get her a little something, she say if i do, then she'll need to prepare something for me as well. so i asked, if its possible for her to just recieve and not do anything in return? she asked why? well... its not like buying, but i'm giving you something. i give out of love and i hope that you can enjoy it without having a feeling of debt. when buying something, you give something and get something. when giving something, you get nothing back, or at most a thanks.
there are ppl who give things and expect something in return. they give you a shirt and over time, keep asking why you never wear it out. well, in my case, i'll just say it dont suit my style.in the case of someone like irin, she feels very bothered by it. to wear or not to wear, that is the question. hahahaha. no lah, but are your intentions rite when you give someone something? are you expecting something? a gift would bring happiness not displeasure.
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